Tea Inquisition
by Hitokun
Summary: Nanoha and Fate are the best of friends. They share everything right down to their giant bed. Are there things that they can't share? Yuuno? Who'd want to share him in the first place? Cough drops? Who says you can't share those? NanoFate


**Tea Inquisition**

--

"I've had enough of this nonsense!" A collective gasp went around the room as the commander's thundering voice boomed. "Section six has some of the most prominent officers, yet such tomfoolery is displayed in the TSAB's very halls!"

"Commander...your nose is bleeding..." It was the brave Subaru who stated this. Blood was dripping onto the commander's desk, his nose a bloody mess and his face was flushed a dark red.

"I know! Now, DON'T INTERRUPT ME."

The commander eyed every single one of them.

Nanoha smiled sheepishly, resisting the urge to "Nyah-ha", clutching Fate's hand behind her back, holding in her laugh for the sake of her blonde companion.

Vita sweat-dropped, wondering how Hayate had dragged her into yet another one of her messes. The brunette in question was calm, a wide smirk threatening to break out from beneath her stoic expression.

Signum was pale with fright, not only at the punishment they would soon be facing, but at the fact that her actions were inexcusable as a knight, a knight who only held pure thoughts!

Next to the swordswoman, Shamal sighed, flashing Signum an apologetic smile. The knight blushed furiously, averting the blonde woman's amber gaze.

Rocking back and forth on her heels, Subaru tried to wipe that lopsided grin off her face, but a smile just kept tugging at her lips. That is, until a hard elbow socked the young lieutenant in the ribs. Then, the purple haired girl just stared, stared at Teana, wondering what she did to deserve that.

Everyone was quiet for the most part, but not all were looking as sorry as the chief commander expected them to be. There was no doubt that the accused were all guilty and that what they did was completely inexcusable in their positions of power, but... truthfully, no one really felt the need to repent for what they did.

Actually...Maybe Signum felt a little awkward about the situation and Vita, a little annoyed at her master, but no one was truly lamenting the situation they were in now.

Oh no, scratch that. Teana was in a bit of a jam. The young enforcer-to-be was sweating bullets, biting her lips, completely fraught with fear that her newly earned title would be 

stripped from her, laying all those years of hard work to waste. And it was all because of a stupid cough drop.

It all started a mere hour ago, right before the commander was due for his unscheduled inspection of section six.

"I'm sorry, Fate. It's all gone. Cough drops, cold medicine, you name it. There's a cold bug going through the office, so I've been busy all day. Sorry, Fate. I have to put a rush order on some more medical supplies." Shamal smiled apologetically at the blonde enforcer. She massaged the bridge of her nose; the sheer chaos of the day was getting to her.

"Oh, it's ok, Shamal. I've just got a bit of a sore throat, so I just wanted a couple cough drops, but it's not that severe, so I'll manage." Fate smiled at her fellow blonde, waving a goodbye before she stepped out of the knight's office.

With the whoosh of the doors behind her, Fate sighed dejectedly, her shoulders sagging, her head hanging. She lied. Her throat was bothering her so much that she couldn't even work. The burning and scratching was just too much to bear. It was even a miracle that she didn't collapse into a fit of coughs back there. Wandering down the halls, the sick Fate Testarossa brought a hand to her mouth; a fit of coughs wracked her slender frame.

"Fate-chan, are you ok?"

Still coughing, Fate looked up. She'd recognized that voice anywhere. Burgundy met slate blue as the blonde stared at her best friend pleadingly.

"Aw...it'll be ok, Fate-chan. I'm here." With that, the brunette wrapped her arms around her blonde friend, stroking her back soothingly.

Clearing her throat, Fate looked up again; her face flushed a light pink. "Thank you, Nanoha..."

"I-I'm sorry, Fate-chan. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be sick... I knew it was for the best when I sent Vivio to Hayate's room for the week and when I offered to sleep on the cough, but with all that privacy...I just couldn't help it." Nanoha blushed, her hands lingered lightly on Fate's back. They stood closely in their half embrace.

"It's ok, Nanoha. I would have done the same." Fate smiled a smile that lit up her burgundy eyes, a smouldering gaze burning in Nanoha's clear blue ones.

By now, the two S class mages were so wrapped up in their own world that they didn't even notice when an audience had gathered behind them.

"They really don't care who's watching, do they...? I thought Testarossa had a little more restraint." Vita frowned as she watched the soap opera like scene play out before her. It was so sweet that she could barely stand it.

Teana sighed. "I don't think they even know that anyone's watching...and you know Fate-san. When it comes to Nanoha-san, she's a whole different person."

"Well, who wouldn't be! Nanoha-san's an amazing person!" Subaru beamed as she pumped her fist into the air, nearly knocking Teana over in the process.

"Subaru!" Teana huffed as she crossed her arms quite crossly.

"What, are you jealous, Tea?" The lieutenant smirked. "You could be my Nanoha-san anytime!" Subaru flung her arms around the blushing sergeant, glomping the poor girl quite viciously.

"Gah! S-stop that, Subaru! That's not what I meant!" Teana half heartedly tried to pry her roommate off, but the other girl was too strong. It would all be hunky dory if Subaru's hands weren't grabbing and touching strange places...

"Stop it, you two! I can't hear what they're saying!" Hayate shushed them as she turned the dial furiously on a radio like receiver.

"What?" All three said in unison as they eyed Hayate suspiciously.

"I planted a bug on Fate, so I could hear what they were up to. Usually, the bug gets destroyed by an intense magical field, but today, I have a feeling that this'll work out!" The brunette smirked wickedly, cackling to herself. Suddenly, everyone around the deranged Hayate leaned in closer, listening intently to the radio receiver.

"I wonder if they have _that _kind of relationship..."

--

"Oh, Fate..." The honorifics were dropped. This time, the gloves were off.

"Nanoha..." the two moved closer and closer, lips nearly touching when...

_-Cough cough...-_

Fate turned to the side, covering her mouth with a shaky hand. "S-sorry, Nanoha. It's just my throat. It's driving me crazy. Augh..." Not only was it burning like the depths of hell in her throat, the nice atmosphere was nicely ruined. "Do you happen to have a cough drop, Nanoha?"

"Oh, but it's the last one." With that, Nanoha opened her mouth. "Ahh." and there, sitting on her tongue, was a citrusy menthol saviour that Fate wanted to devour that very second. Suddenly, Nanoha closed her mouth. "Too bad, Fate-chan. I can't _give_ it to you."

"Nanoha!" The blonde pouted, making such a sad puppy dog face.

"Nope."

"..." Fate fumed, wondering why Nanoha wouldn't give it to her. Wait... Suddenly gears turned feverishly in the enforcers mind. Nanoha loved to play these games...

"Well then, Fate-chan?" Nanoha smirked dangerously, swishing the hard candy in her mouth.

"How 'bout we _share_ it?" Fate had the same mischievous smile on her pink lips as she snaked her arms around Nanoha's slim waist.

"You just about read my mind, Fate-chan..."

Nothing pleased Fate more as she heard those words. Closing in for the kill, Fate drew the brunette close, capturing her supple lips in her own as a swell of sensations filled her mind. A taste of lemon and Nanoha swirled in her mouth and the blonde grinned into the kiss.

Meanwhile, a couple meters away, three wide eyed girls had their jaws drop to the ground.

Jumping up, Vita pointed an accusing finger at the two lovers, still deaf to the world. "I knew it! I knew you two had _that_ kind of relationship!" The little knight was red in the face, embarrassed and fuming at the same time. "Hayate! Don't you share a room with them?!"

Completely calm and very much so composed, Hayate smiled a knowing smile. "I do. Occasionally. They're in there by themselves most of the time. Along with our giant bed." The brunette grinned to herself, stifling the giggles that had bubbled up.

"Uh...but...that's...unexpected." Teana was thunderstruck, awestruck at the sight before her. It was so shocking, so appalling, but all the while...so captivating. She couldn't draw her eyes away from it.

Beside the up and coming enforcer, Subaru stared in disbelief, in disappointment. "Aww..No fair! If Nanoha-san has Fate-san, what about me?? I want to share a cough drop too!!" The violet haired girl suddenly grabbed Teana, her face flushed, her eyes shot with lust.

"S-Subaru!! What are you doing?? L-let me go!" Teana was trapped in Subaru's iron grip, with nowhere to run.

"I'm going to share a cough drop with Tea then!" Subaru moved in for the proverbial kill.

"W-we don't have a cough drop. And we're not even-mpff!"

Enough words were exchanged and Subaru pounced on the redhead, eliciting strange noises from the otherwise quiet Tea.

"Wow." Hayate grinned off to the side, observing the things that were happening around her. "Must be my lucky day." The brunette smiled contently, almost stupidly in actuality.

"Hayate! You've got to stop them! This is wrong on so many levels!" Vita was hysterical now, pulling at her braids.

"What's the problem, Vita-chan? They're just sharing cough drops." Hayate smirked, giggling to herself hysterically again. "Ha..Wish I had my camera..."

"HAYATE!" Vita was beyond hysteric now, more like being traumatized by her master's sense of normalcy in this whole situation.

"Ah, Hayate. It's a good thing I found y-" Shamal stopped mid-sentence as she rounded the corner. On a normal day, seeing Nanoha and Fate act all buddy-buddy was okay, but seeing Nanoha and Fate engaged in some passionate lip locking in the reception hallway of section six was not okay. Not okay at all. Add in Subaru and Tea making out on the floor of said hallway equalled chaos. "W-what...are they doing?"

"Just sharing a cough drop. Or in Subaru and Tea's case, an invisible cough drop." Hayate broke into a fit of giggles as she said this, doubling over with laughter.

Shamal just stared.

"Oi! Hayate! You're from Kansai! You're supposed to be the damn Tsukkomi in this situation!! WHY AREN'T YOU DOING IT?" The red knight was just about to pop a vein as she exploded at Hayate.

"My, you're so loud, Vita-chan. Maybe we should share an invisible cough drop too..." Hayate grinned maliciously, a hint of feral anticipation written all over the delicate girl's face.

Vita froze, a look of terror in her eyes. "No...Hayate, think this over, will you? NOOOOO-Mmhhf"

Vita was silenced abruptly by Hayate's superior tactics, leaving Shamal to be the only sane one in the room/hall.

"Oh my...what a mess. And I just came to tell Fate that I found the last cough drop sitting on my bookshelf." Shamal stood there, wondering what to do since all three pairs were incapacitated and making inappropriate sounds while rolling on the ground.

"Shamal."

The blonde turned around, coming face to face with Signum. She seemed to be bothered with something. 

"I'm not feeling very well. Do you have any lozenges or cough drops or anything like that?" Signum massaged her neck, clearing her throat softly.

Something clicked and Shamal didn't know why, but she had the strange urge to jump on the bandwagon that everyone else was currently on. Reaching in her pocket, she pulled out a single cough drop, unwrapped it and popped it in her mouth.

Signum stared. "Uh, Shamal..."

"I've only got one, but we can share."

* * *

The two large wooden doors slowly creaked open.

"Nyah haha...what a close one, Fate-chan. It would have been bad if that kind of offense marred our perfect record. It's a good thing he settled for the security tapes, since he's such a pervert..." Nanoha pouted as she squeezed the blonde's hand tighter. They walked out of the commander's office, all breathing sighs of relief. "It's strange though...I can usually wait till we're all alone..."

"Mh hmm." Fate nodded, winding an arm around her lover's waist. "I don't know what came over me. I just...couldn't control myself."

"Now that I think about it, that's what happened to me too! Usually I only do those things with Tea in our room. Never at work..." Subaru contemplated the thought, thinking back on her spur of the moment actions.

"Subaru!" Tea burned a bright red.

"Whoops...sorry, Tea. That was supposed to be a secret, right?" Subaru smiled sheepishly, scratching her head.

The redhead sighed. "It's ok...Everyone knows already... Well, uh. I-I have to admit...I lost a bit of restraint back there too..."

Nanoha put her serious face on. "This is quite a mystery."

"Ahahahahaha...ha..."

Everyone turned to look at Hayate.

"Boy, today sure was the highlight of my work here and TSAB." Hayate wiped away a tear as she continued to cackle hysterically.

"Hayate...you didn't have something to do with this, did you?" Vita was still indignant of her master's actions, but it wasn't like she didn't enjoy it...

"Oh ho ho ho...Must have been that new tea I bought..." An evil glint shone in the mage's eye.

"What kind of tea was it, Hayate?" Signum asked, eager to know that her guilty pleasure was nothing but a chemical induced high. She hoped it had nothing to do with Shamal's soft lips, enticing scent, or her breathtakingly beautiful blonde hair. All these thoughts swam in Signum's head, making the knight's cheeks burn a bright red.

"Well, it was a wild lily mixture. It's called Yuri."

* * *

End

* * *

**Translation note:**

**Tsukkomi** - the "straight man" in a two man comedy gag. Points out stupid things the "boke" or "idiot" does or says. Basically, points out the flaws in illogical settings.

**A/N**: Whew...wrote this all in one night. A first for me. This is the first time I've ever written a MGLN fiction, so bear with me if the characters don't seem themselves. Got the inspiration from this 4 panel (I think) that was about Nanoha and Fate sharing cough drops. Kudos to whoever drew that.

Never ever thought I'd get away from my Fire Emblem obsession, but I hope that my first non-fire emblem fic is enjoyable. Hope you did enjoy btw. Please review :D


End file.
